This morning, I wrote a somewhat edgy post in a group on Facebook. It’s a group where I don’t know many people, and there are some high profile people floating around in it.
I was getting some fiery blow back to my comments, and it started pinching at one of my biggest insecurities…
Like so many of us, I want to feel like I’m part of the crowd. I’ve gone far out of my way over the years to look like I don’t need it. To feel untouchable, like I can say and do whatever I want and I don’t need the thumb’s up from anybody.
But the truth is, I’m human. And as one, I enjoy feeling liked. Even more so, I hate feeling like I don’t belong. After all, it’s part of our genetic makeup — we need to be included in a group in order to survive.
And so, this morning’s responses to my post were ringing the “they won’t like you” alarm. Now, when this alarm has sounded for me in the past, it’s kept me from taking chances. Normally, I wouldn’t want the collective to think less of me, thereby negating the risk that I would be isolated from the group.
But I let the scenario play out a bit in my head. “So what?” I asked. “So what if I get ostracized, ridiculed, called out, etc.?”
And what about the “high profilers” saw this post and had some kind of reaction? A fear came up for me that I would then be cutting off a potential source of help and resources by pissing those people off, who would then not talk to me.
But, it comes down to mindset.
At play here are competing concepts: Abundance vs. Scarcity.
With Scarcity, you take what you can get. You believe things like “I’ll never get this kind of opportunity again” or “I’m not capable of making change in my life without someone giving me a leg up.”
With Abundance, you believe things like “opportunities are everywhere” and “I can manifest anything I want for myself.”
Subtle, yet VERY powerful concepts
When my alarms went off this morning, my mindset was locked in Scarcity. Without the help of these “high profile” people, I couldn’t make things happen for myself.
But when I let that go and just said what I was thinking, I shifted to Abundance. I started to believe that I could piss anybody off and still achieve everything. Besides…most famous and powerful people tend to like people with strong opinions who aren’t afraid to say what’s on their minds.
I don’t necessarily recommend you try to piss people off on purpose. Even though that might bring you more people who believe what you believe…thereby strengthening your tribe.
Regardless, start to realize the times when you’re speaking and doing out of a Scarcity mindset, and realize that acting out of fear will rarely get you the Abundance you deserve.